LOOKING BACK ON THE TUMULTUOUS YEAR THAT WAS, 2 0 1 6.
To say 2016 year has been quite the journey is an understatement. This was a year of absolute unravelling, decluttering, awakening to truth, shedding of old beliefs, and learning from my mistakes. It has been a year of accepting my humanness and honouring my soul, and integrating those two worlds together. This is a journey that I feel will be ongoing and renewing me daily. It’s been firey and purpose filled, and yet sometimes paralysing. I have felt so connected and yet so alone, overwhelming gratitude and yet regret, joy and sadness, expansion and restriction. I have felt my world through the collective pains that we humans share. I have cried more tears than ever before, endured the most physical pain and sickness that I can remember and have expanded my understanding of the world more than I knew was possible.
Growth has always been important to me, from as little as I can remember I wanted to learn, excel and progress. I always knew I would go to university for that very reason. I was passionate and curious, and took responsibility for myself. I wanted to live a big dream life, not one of mediocrity. I wanted to have the nice things and fall in love. I wanted to live a big life. My oh my, its funny how things turn out.
My intention with this blog is to share with you the place I have come to in my journey. I am in between worlds, and in complete uncertainty. Today, that feels almost paralysing, yesterday it felt magical, ah the polarising experience of living from truth! I am now teaching yoga (and it feels so good!), and building my essential oils business, and I have said yes to the calling of my souls work. However, the 'work', the manifesting of freedom and abundance into a reality, is yet to reach a point of momentum. In my business life, I was moving so rapidly, sometimes I didn’t know if anything I was doing was successful, but it seemed to be working and acceptable. My perspective was I was moving up financially, and that meant I was reaching status in the workplace, and living 'successfully', the only problem was, my definition of successful looked different now - success felt more like Inner Freedom and I wasn't going to obtain it in the corporate workplace, and felt like I had no choice but to help others to obtain this new paradigm of success. Now, two months after leaving my job, and old self identity, I find myself in unchartered territory oscillating between complete gratitude and a sense of freedom that I don’t have to look at another work email, and the fear of the uncertainty of the journey ahead of me. I feel free, yet confined, and know there is still work to do to reframe my idea of success.
Here's what I've learnt so far, about accessing 'Inner Freedom' and living and leading from truth...
CONSIOUSCLY CHOOSING SUPPORT
Throughout these amazing, yet confusing times, I have used many healing and clearing modalities to keep me in my state of grace. I meditate every day in some way, and have found myself being quite intuitive with this, it might include some dance, yoga, stillness or visualisation practices, but there is always a practice. I journal and write A LOT. I see my amazing integrated practitioner who physically aligns my spine but also helps me to swiftly clear any emotional blockages through the practice of kinesiology and NET (Neuro Emotional Technique) – this has been so transformational this year, I have literally told everyone I know to get their butt over to see Alice at Awaken Life Chiropractic! Seriously!
In 2016, I was sure change was coming, whether I liked it or not, so I decided to dive in and listen to my soul. I completed two yoga teacher trainings, where one of my main goals was to connect to a tribe that could support me in the level of vibration I knew was necessary for me to step up. Wow, were my expectations exceeded! I now have a beautiful group of friends that I would honestly do anything to support. We really learnt what it was to support each other’s growth and to truly allow ourselves to be seen as our essential nature.
I also felt called to take part in a program called Soul Leader School, a 6 month online immersion led by the amazing Melissa Sandon, with 100 other women, all ready to uncover what their soul mission, vision and soul work was and to actualise it. I firmly believe this is the program that will change my life trajectory and put it on the fast track! I also knew this was a place where I could speak honestly, be visible in my truth and be supported with love. Again, my wildest dreams couldn’t have shown me what would take place, but this program and the women in it have changed my life forever.
INTUITION – ARE YOU LISTENING?
Last year, more than ever, I listened to my intuition. I have always felt very intuitive but haven’t always wanted to acknowledge it, or listen. In 2016, when I was physically locked down in sickness and not able to move, I heard the callings of my soul more clearly than ever. It may have taken a real slap from the universe for me to wake up, but once that happened there was no turning back. Last year, with all of the beauty that had arisen, there have been some really dark times, I have felt incredibly depressed, and even like I wanted to give up (I even visualised stepping in front of a bus one day on the way to work - sometimes I felt quite the crazy!). What I now know is there is nothing to be afraid of, being depressed is a passing state that is arising so that I can hear my soul once again, and act upon her message. Sometimes we don’t want to admit what we hear her asking of us, and this can lead us down a dark path of realisation, but a necessary one – to come full circle. I’m not afraid of the dark anymore. We’re friends, but sometimes we don’t agree, sometimes I just want to hang out with someone else.
My intuition led me to my amazing life coach that I bumped into at a yoga community event, who supported me over a three month period as I made the biggest calls of my life to date. We co-created with the universe. Something so amazing happens when you turn up for a coaching session, your soul turns up. Many times I didn’t feel like it at all, and sometimes either did my soul, but the days I did show up, my soul was right there, and the downloads from the universe would drop one after the other – this has been such an important part of my awakening, and also my power to manifest what it is I desire to have in my life. What I didn’t realise until this experience, is our coaches, mentors, teachers, are merely our guides here to co-create with us. It is just as much about me showing up and being responsible for my life, as it is about this other epic human helping to guide and support me (kind of like holding the torch as we climb through a dark cave to find lightness at the other end). There is no way out of actually showing up, being accountable, and taking your own divine action. NO WAY, believe me. This meant showing up as a messy human, with human mistakes, and actually realising that accepting ALL of me was necessary to evolve. I am constantly, even with all my learnings and a new year beginning, reminded to love and accept my human self and to not take myself too seriously.
YOGA & ESSENTIAL OILS FOR EPIC HEALING, CLEARING & EXPANDING
Finally, my two loves. I can’t stress enough the deep healing and expansive impact of my yoga practice and essential oils rituals to keep me aligned to my truth. Of course, I forget sometimes just how important daily yoga is, but I always remember and return. I am in control of my health and wellbeing, and it feels so empowering to say this. In 2016 I was rocked by my sickness, but I really learnt just how responsible I needed to be, and how to deeply love myself with natural solutions that would keep me radiating. Anyone that knows me well knows I constantly smell like a massage parlour, and slowly I see them realising and resonating! It feels so good to have a rested night sleep, to be rid of colds, and to be helping my grandfather manage his emphysema. Essential oils anchor me into my desired state of being. They elevate me. They keep me on track with my focus, inspiration and passion. They literally have consoled me (there is an oil blend called console!) when I have felt really alone and depressed. THEY ARE MY SOUL SUPPORT SYSTEM, AND THEY ARE INCREDIBLY POWERFUL. Little disclaimer, when using essential oils, ensure it is of therapeutic grade and 100% plant extract. I use and build my business with DoTerra.
I knew that I would need to have really strong support around me to actually make this happen, and to feel GREAT and EXPANSIVE about it. My professional career looked very bright, and I was earning more than most people I knew. I bought an amazing apartment in Sydney and sold it within 14 months. I am so grateful for my experiences in corporate and marketing, they have shaped me but I had to get so honest with myself about what felt right, real and true for me.
What I desire in this life is to live in a state of freedom, grace and abundance, so that I can give and serve from this centred place. I desire to teach and share the wisdom of yoga and meditation as a way of life, and to build conscious business that supports me with financial freedom and a place where I can share my gifts and creativity with the world. I desire to fall in love. I desire to heal our world, and to remind us all that we are love. Everything that is in the way of this desire must fall away, no matter how much short term pain I must endure. For me to be in a place of congruency with my desires, I’ve gotta go with what feels right. Is there really any other choice?
SO, HOW DOES BEING AT GROUND ZERO FEEL?
When I asked myself this question in December, this is what I wrote...
Today, after all is said and done, I feel thrilled to be taking small steps toward my dream. I feel grateful for the people in my life that believe in me and allow me to really show up as myself, I feel full of more love, acceptance and understanding, I feel spaciousness in my mind and body. I feel lightness. However, I also know there is hard work ahead to continue to create the life I really want to live, but if I could get through all of the last years ups and downs and crazy turbulence, I know I can do this.
Truthfully, here is where I am today:
Today, I am overwhelmed, feeling messy, not good enough, and full of self-judgement. I’ve gotta be honest. I feel like I’m having some big healings, and usually when this happens I fall in a heap. That’s where I am right now. It’s important for me to write about the whole story, and how even though I have felt incredibly expansive and joyful, today I feel totally insecure and unsure of myself. The difference is, I know this will change and pass and I’m in the perfect place for this next round of transition. A year ago, I wouldn’t have known this. I have had an amazing two weeks with many new doors opening, but my old patterns of self-sabotage have shown their head again! Human Amy is out to play and this is another moment to fully accept myself without judgment and most importantly, OPEN TO RECIEVE.
I can’t wait to read this blog in 12 months’ time and see where I have progressed, who I have helped along the way, and how I have built a life of abundance for myself. It’s like creating a big colourful canvas, that is all mine to create. I can take my time, I can shoot through it like a rocket, whatever I want I can do. How beautiful and inspiring is that?
I share this story because I know there are others like me out there that want to make changes toward their desired life. You will be feeling the tug, pull or washing machine of life swirling around within you. I want you to know it is ok to change ANYTHING in your life, I encourage you to have the support around you to make the change happen, even if it looks to be a small change. Take responsibility for yourself and ask for help. This is what has really helped me to actually see through my big decisions and re-alignment. If you enjoy writing like me, go crazy, get a bunch of nice journals that you love and a good pen, and write about everything you are doing, write like you know someone will be learning from this later in life. Right like you are the observer of your life (because you are).
If you would like to connect on this more, and feel a calling to reach out to me, please do. I know that everything I have been through this past year is not just for myself, this is to help other women (and men) just like me to follow their soul and connect more deeply.
SO WHAT IS PLANNED FOR 2017?
In the centre of my vision board I have an intention that reads "I dive into the ocean of my true potential", and that pretty much sums it up. My intention is to be really bold with my interactions with people, to really show up in communion with others, as my true self. That’s my number one.
Doterra Essential Oils - Network Marketing Business Leadership
I am 100% committed to growing my network marketing business with DoTerra, and with my background in marketing, I see the huge opportunity it presents to build a life that supports my souls abundance. I am currently looking for beautiful women who are inspired by my message to build the business with me, if you are interested in learning more about essential oils and how they can help you in your transition, please reach out. I am really excited to bring my mentorship skills to this space, and to lead in a beautifully conscious and nurturing way.
My heart is so happy when I'm teaching, I am teaching regularly and really enjoying creating experiences for my students. I feel home here, and so happy I've found another part of me. I realise I have a gift in sharing intuitive vibrational medicine and am currently working on creating a program for private yoga sessions that integrate energetics of yoga, essential oils and breath work.
Soul Work - integrating & elevating
I will work on birthing my soul work into the world, and this might sound a bit out there for some, but after attending an amazing event led by Peta Kelly, and learning about the soul entity of my soul work in Soul Leader School, I will be working on launching She's Grace, a body of work that will be designed to empower, elevate and expand young women to live from a place of inner freedom so they too can serve in the world and realise their boundless potentiality. She's Grace is how I connect to Divinity, and will be the name I give to the tribe of women I work with in the future who will create the container of collective healing. She's Grace represents my vision that is helping to pave my way! My guiding light.
I will teach what I most need to learn, I feel there is such a potency in sharing as we evolve not years after, so here it is, I genuinely hope this inspires you to move toward your state of grace, freedom and abundance, and that you enjoy a perspective from someone at the beginning of a new endeavour of peace. I'm certainly excited to see what happens!