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One of the things I notice about sensitive women that are into healing and transformation, is our desire to be perfect and ‘good’ girls.
Growing up, I was the good girl, I was the oldest of three children and took great pride in having the cleanest room, the neatest hair, being the most popular grandchild and the one that received validation of how ‘good' she was. I lapped that up!
We all take on these different roles, and with what I know now about yoga, energy and soul healing, they come from somewhere, they come from conditioning through our family and society, they come through our genetics, they come through our life experiences - so none of it is bad or wrong!
The flip side of my perfectionist desires was a real drive to succeed and it has served me so well in life, so there is always a silver lining, yet the shadow side of my ache to be good also led me into shame and guilt throughout most of my life...
Today, I want to talk about being wild, because as much as I was a good girl growing up, as I became an adult in my late teens and early twenties, I became rather wild. I absolutely loved going out, getting drunk, partying at festivals and dancing. I have always loved dancing. In fact, I was (and sometimes am today) the last one at the party. I just love to dance and see people having fun. It brings me joy and makes me laugh!
There is a deep desire within me to let myself loose, to let myself out of the cage, I mean – one of my core values is freedom so it makes sense.
What didn’t work for me when I was growing up was the guilt and shame I placed upon myself after being ‘wild and free’, and this is the part that causes pain and misalignment. It wasn’t the act of being crazy and choosing to drink alcohol, it was the way I berated myself for doing it.
So, I overdid it, I really did, because I wasn’t learning the lesson. I wasn’t realising I needed to loosen the judgement around my neck, and dissolve the shame that kept me from feeling worthy of my wholeness.
To me, this is a pretty important piece of the puzzle when we are on the path to healing and wholeness. When we're on the path to change in a positive way.
If we can’t accept ourselves when we are messy, and make mistakes, we will continue to remain unhealed and our wild shadow side won’t ever be welcomed in with love.
This really hit home for me after I read 'Women who run with the Wolves' (an absolute must read, grab in at Audible).
If we can’t feel our wild child, we won’t heal our wild child.
Even a year ago, deep down I was still striving to be ‘good’, I sought out opportunities to grow in every aspect of my life but took it too far in ways, just like I said in my last blog, I was chasing perfection in the way I ate to feel the purest all the time - I was judging myself against an unattainable goal! The chase of the purity took away from me just knowing in my bones I am pure and sacred and loved all the time, not just when I’m the good girl. I still wasn’t fully believing that I am loved and worthy and whole, and that's the issue that will keep showing itself again and again.
One of the important elements I look at with my clients, when it comes to Inner Freedom, is how much fun they're having. Do they have an outlet to be wild and silly? Do they have an outlet to let their spirit be free and to have adventure? This of course looks different for everyone, dancing all night at a club might be your medicine, or maybe a sacred cacao dance party lights you up, maybe its rolling around on the floor with your dog. It could be anything at all!
I believe there is a level of unfulfilled joy that causes many of us to numb out to life, to constantly compare our lives and to others because we can’t find the joy in our own inner world, to fall into conforming to someone else ideals, because it looks cool. We are left uninspired and unsatisfied, we get bored or we become addicted to something, so we can stop feeling so boring and dull.
There is a healing alchemy, a transformation, that takes place when we accept our wild side. She brings us vitality and aliveness when she can be expressed in a healthy way. Part of my healing journey is to allow myself to mess up sometimes, it brings me back to balance and makes things more neutral. I get the opportunity to heal toward wholeness again by accepting all parts of me.
I honour the wild woman in me, even if it means I won’t be in perfect health because of it.
The ironic thing is, feeling messy AND whole has made me healthier across all levels of my being more than anything ever has.
Are you having enough fun in your life?
Is there room to let go and make a bit more of a mess?
This is not to say we go out and party every weekend, that’s not of any interest to me, but we give ourselves permission to find safe outlets that will genuinely allow our healthy wild side to play. We pay attention to what works and what doesn’t, always with the intention of getting closer to ourselves, to love and inner freedom. That is always my goal, no matter what it looks like on the outside.
If we want to make change we’ve gotta trial and test things, we're creating our own canvas of life, it’s not going to be perfect, but we must start painting!
When my clients start to unlock their 'wild' and have fun, the most beautiful thing happens, they start creating. Creativity flows when we feel more whole. Wildness does that for us.
When creativity starts to flow, our life force and intuition start firing. We start aligning to our soul and she starts celebrating big time! We start to not give so many f*cks about what other people think, because we know our wholeness, that is such a blissful feeling! Its empowering on a whole new level!
Here is where the Inner Freedom Journey comes in, to catapult you into your soul’s truth, you start being much more ballsy about what you want, because your wild side has a voice. I love this part of working with my clients, where their eyes get all sparkly and they have ideas flowing in, they feel like they can be themselves.
This is what I want for you too beauty, to allow passion to erupt from within you, through your creativity and wildness.
If you are lost for how to feel more whole, and have no idea where your wild woman is or what she wants, come and join the tribe of women that are unlocking the hidden keys to their freedom, come and work with me, allow me to guide and support you.
I’ll be seeing private clients for the next few months, before I begin launching my group programs and workshops later in the year, now is the time to jump in if you feel the call.
Do it wild one!